This week’s episode of the “This American Life” radio program was all about lists and how they make sense of our chaotic lives. I caught myself snorting a few more times than I should have out of familiarity.
Who among us doesn’t use lists? Post-It Notes, notes apps on our smartphones, whiteboards, scrawling on palms in desperation … the beckon call of bullets envelopes us daily and keeps us from devolving into rudderless oafs.
Usually my lists are pretty mundane – Home Depot, Costco, fix X and Y in my house on Saturday morning, mail birthday card – all the things. But today, I thought I’d dig up a deeper list, one that I’m sure I’ll revisit as I get older and undoubtedly crankier. Simple truths that 10-years-ago me would not know how to speak, let alone type.
So let’s get ‘em down so I can come back in another 10 years, agape at my youthful indulgences.
What are your simple truths?
- I’ve finally embraced my inner introvert. Weekend late nights devouring audiobooks, This American Life podcasts or belly-laughing through a few chapters of David Sedaris fills my nerd tank with higher-octane fuel than a night on the town. Come to think of it, writing things like this does, too.
- Now I’m no curmudgeon. Said nights on town, in measured doses and with the right friends, are sought-after occasions. And on those occasions, I’ve come to believe alcohol isn’t worth the buzz or the rip-roaring headache the next morning. There are some amazing near-beers, they taste great, and I seek out bars that serve them. I’m starting to get into mocktails, too, although I want to find a less-lame name for them than “mocktails.”
- Curling up with my 9-year-old daughter on the couch for a movie is a feeling like no other. I know her tickle spots, and she knows mine. It’s usually a healthy détente. I know our times doing this are numbered.
- I don’t like crowds and no longer feel the need to seek them out. While I relished the young professionals circuit in the early aughts, my happy place is much different now … although the grainy JPGs from my Sony CyberShot at Gators Dockside in 2001 still make me laugh.
- Life is short(er now). I want to make memories, not pursue trophies or random trappings of status that builds up in desk drawers, closets and eventually high-rent climate-controlled storage units. It all needs to be dusted, and just the thought of that is overwhelming.
- I drive my wife’s 2012 Honda CRV with 152,100 miles. And a 4-banger that goes 0 to 60 in 3 minutes. It’s paid off, and that “car payment” goes to my daughter’s college fund. A much better investment than some hot wheels to impress someone I probably wouldn’t like anyway.
- Social media and the attention merchants need to be run out of our digital lives. The opportunity cost of watching short-form videos peppered with pitches for tech wallets and razor subscriptions is unfathomable. Jonathan Haidt’s 2024 book “The Anxious Generation” is a must-read for any parent, anxious about their child’s predilection to screens.
- Leverage your tax dollars and participate in your local library. Get a card and listen to audiobooks on Libby. Donate when you can.
- I don’t feel guilty telling people I’d rather text than talk on the phone. I even ask for texts on my work out-of-office autoreply. It’s my love language.
- I’m too old to wait in line. A little forethought – online, prepaid ordering and scheduled appointments for the DMV or Genius Bar – gets you out of a lot of queues. Spontaneity is fun … in measured doses … but as a life philosophy it’s overrated. And when I’m in a line, I inevitably whip out my phone.
- I’m 45 pounds heavier now than on my wedding night. As every day goes by, I’m a little less perturbed at the prospect that they’ll stay with me forever.
- No. 11 notwithstanding, I am embracing 5 a.m. wake-up calls again, early gym visits, meditation, journaling and simple silence. I want to be physically, emotionally and spiritually healthy, whether or not I can track it on my Apple Watch.
- I want to live to 100 … 110 years old. Why not? As long as some of my friends join me. Otherwise, it might be lonely up there, and I might have to go into a crowd or two to meet some new friends. Bah.
- I love the 34 years I had before I met my wife and I love the 15 years I’ve had since I met my wife. For vastly different yet wholly valid and fulfilling reasons.
- Dry saunas are the perfect antidote to Florida summers. Ten minutes at 190 degrees makes at 90 degrees feel like a welcome breeze … without the drenching weight of humidity.