Now I know what it must feel like to live behind Niagara Falls. If I glance out of my home office window, that’s what I’ll see. In miniature. Without plummeting barrels. So I hope.

It appears that April’s showers have gone into extra innings on the First Coast. They won’t be defeated as they keep swinging, lashing out at my eaves and shingles this evening with the adrenaline-fueled abandon of a meth-head raging for his fix. Those May flowers, meanwhile, don’t want to get mixed up with these torrid showers, so they’re waiting in the dugout for the crash.

My grass? I know what side he’s pulling for. If these showers weren’t raging today, I would have given the Toro a spin around the back yard. Call it an indefinite stay of execution.

My staycation? Flower power all the way! But it knows it doesn’t stand a chance against Mother Nature, who invoked Murphy’s Law as a not-so-subtle dig on my recreational choices. Plus she knows that I’ll unintentionally kill (via a well-honed black thumb) any blooms within 15 feet of my house if the showers acquiesce.

All things considered, the spigot stays on…

It seems not so long ago, the scent of not-so-far removed wildfires wafted through our neighborhoods as we embarked on our morning drives. On choice days, Ma Nature might even blow a plume of fine ash in our faces (and to coat our vehicles oh so well). “Wildfire risk = Extreme” warnings would make frequent guest appearances on morning news programs, crawling along our screens in menacing red hues. And for months at a time, I could only grimace in empathy toward my front yard, as my grass gasped for its life, turning a shade of sickly yellow as the St. Johns River Water Management District held it in a stranglehold.

Wednesdays and Saturdays after 4 p.m. for odd-numbered residences only. Damn water restrictions.

And now, Nature once again laughs in the face of us humans. “Restrictions? Screw ‘em! I’ll give you what you need,” she says.

And on cue, the grass rejoices. The staycation mutters something and walks away, looking for an umbrella and a travel agent. And the junkie gets his fix.

And here I am, listening to Seal (his mid-90s brooding stuff, of course) and recognizing that Mother Nature really does know what she’s doing. And coming full circle in silent appreciation. She’s been here a lot longer than we have, after all.

But you must know I’m still going to look for that place behind the falls. When it comes to blogging, waterfalls (even fake, miniature ones) seem to light my fire.

Jay at work doing what he does best ... eating cupcakes.I’m a professional communicator.

I have a “thing” about the type of pen or keyboard I use, or the type of software I use to create. Don’t get me into which Microsoft Word is better – 2010 or 2013. Just. Don’t.

I zoom beyond surface marketing messages and look impatiently for the stockholder-driven ulterior motives so I can feel above the fray and untouchable by others’ inferior psychographic profilings of me.

I have four different “breaking news” notification alerts on my iPhone. And since their installation, I have grown wary of this label and wonder what qualifies for “breaking news” anymore. The boy who cried wolf doesn’t know the half of it.

My formerly pristine “personal” inbox, where people used to write me for leisure or a personal catch-up, has become the favored landing spot of so many LinkedIn “weekly digest” missives on whatever group I halfheartedly signed up for at the urging of someone else (usually at 2 a.m. and under the influence of whatever bottle of brown elixir was on top of my fridge). Email is no longer magical, like it was in 1998 when you got AOL mails from cute girls and you were too junior in your career for emails to command the gravity they do now.

I maintain neatly stacked columns of Fast Company, Harvard Business Review, Florida Trend and Men’s Health, most teetering on the brink of collapse in glossy skyscrapers dotting my home office. I will make time for them, one day, like I do my podcasts and e-books, often from the same publishers, put out there to encourage me to re-up my print subscription or upgrade to “premium online access.” They, at least, are low-maintenance distractors from the pain induced by the elliptical machine or the four-mile morning run. Their print-based brethren seethe in envy.

Closely related to the aforementioned, I am sent endless streams of email newsletters about communication and marketing best practices, most of which I never knowingly signed up for in the first place. I accept them and file them away, hoping that one day I will “slow down” and crack open that archive folder for digital enlightenment.

(Oh, and by the way, to whoever programmed the algorithm that thinks I’m a girl and sends me dozens of Coach bag blasts each week, just stuff it. Unless you signed me up for them, Amie.)

I maintain a comprehensive collection of dongles, adapters, chargers, USB drives and other wires that keep my stainless steel and brushed aluminum boxes blinking in unison with each other (and would undoubtedly make any Apple Store employee beam). That way I can always “stay connected” and use them to speak to others on my behalf, so I don’t have to talk to them in person. Seriously, who has time for that?

I speculatively collect self-help business books from Amazon and neatly file them in a bookshelf in my den. If “60 Minutes” ever interviews me about how professional of a communicator I am, I hope they film me in front of these books so I look really, really smart.

My Associated Press Stylebook is a tattered, ragged, dog-eared victim of being flung against walls one too many times (after losing bets from colleagues about how to best format magazine titles). My more cosmetically pleasing, less controversial Bible sits in serene calm, several volumes away. Both, of course, have distant cousins who live on my iPhone and iPad. They’re safe — no wall-flinging for my digital appendages!

I blather on about how social media should be looked at as a tool and vital component of a balanced integrated marketing communication approach and preach against the consequences of random postings and tactical tomfoolery. Yet still I wantonly post and secretly crave the adrenaline rush of comments. It’s digital morphine for screen junkies, and the big, red buttons are just getting prettier and prettier.

I don’t like my office phone. It’s ugly and big. And it keeps ringing. Someone, just please take it away. Don’t they know they need to email me to get my attention? Or just text me. Who has time for small talk anyway?

I’m a professional communicator who just finished a thoughtful, purposeful rant. Any other professional communicators out there care to help me continue? What would you add to my list?

Saucy Taco in St. JohnsThe folks behind the new Saucy Taco have a good thing cooking in the Julington Village shopping center. They have remade a revolving-door storefront with a mix of craft beer, vintage automotive décor, flat screens, and a friendly-Mex menu dripping in good tastes.

And when I say “friendly-Mex,” think family-friendly flavors with salads, tortas, Mexican-style pizzas and signature tacos all ages can appreciate.

“It’s Mexican with an American flair,” said Allison O’Connor, part-owner in the 150-seat venture that opened February 25 in the Publix-anchored center. O’Connor knows her casual restauranting – she helped open the first Hurricane Grill & Wings in Ft. Pierce and brought the concept to northwest St. Johns six years ago.

Now her team has injected wing sauce wisdom into Saucy’s menu, which boasts seven flavors from Avocado Mayo to Habanero Tartar. They dress a collection of “Artful Tacos,” from the signature Saucy (marinated filet mignon; $11.99) and Yellowfin Tuna Tartare ($11.99) to the Irish (corned beef, potatoes, cabbage and spicy mustard; $8.99), Barbacoa or even Southern Fried Chicken (both $8.99).

Or go for the “Extraordinary ‘Ordinary’ Tacos,” with fire-roasted shredded chicken, pork, carnitas, fish, beef or veggies in hard or soft shells ($7.99 to $10.99). Tortas include crowd-pleasing hamburgers and hot dogs and the otherworldly “Piglet” (pulled pork, bacon and a hot dog under a bun smeared with refried beans, tomatoes and slaw; $10.99).

Taco Trio!My after-work crew of three got our motors running with Smothered Saucy Fries ($6.99), covered in cheddar jack cheese, jumbo jalapeno slices and green chili sauce. We easily excavated this appetizer and moved on to tackle those tacos.

The Saucy Taco’s marinated filet came well seasoned in a coating of creamy cilantro sauce and a blend of cotija and cheddar jack cheeses. My friend upgraded her side to the Crusted Chorizo Mac & Cheese, which gave the comfort food a notable temperature bump. My other dining partner craved the Carnitas ($8.49) and paired it with “street corn,” roasted on the ear with a cotija coating. I chose a hot and spicy shrimp number ($10.49) marinated in chipotle adobo sauce and grilled, with a sidekick of cilantro rice and fired-up (but not fire extinguisher-inducing) black beans.

After destroying our plates, one thing was for sure – those sauces sure run if you let them. Consider this with your choice of attire or dining partner (take note, blind dates).

While you won’t find sweet things on the menu, our server was well versed in the desserts. We chose the Fried Oreos with vanilla ice cream ($5.99) and the Caramel Delight, churro-type tortilla thins dusted in cinnamon with a caramel dipping sauce ($4.99). The Oreos resembled four beignets and were hard to put down. The thins were the better bet for large-group sharing and were light and crisp even after repeated dips in the caramel pool.

While Saucy sports a full bar and specialty drinks, the signature of any place with 11 flat-screens is what runs from the taps. There you’ll find 40 flavors, all meticulously explained in tableside menus clad in bygone license plates. You’ll find the mass-produced, the “crafties” (think Blue Moon) and true crafts from locals Bold City, Intuition, Engine 15, Green Room and beyond. Can’t decide? Opt for the four-brew flight ($8), which arrives at your table in license plate trays. Happy hour specials run daily from 3 to 7 p.m. and 9 until close. Coke products dominate the fountain ($2.25).

Our server, Nikki, was attentive and fun with our group.Saucy can get loud, so take your working lunches or quiet dinners elsewhere. It’s a fun spot to meet friends after work, take the family after the game or watch the game, with a familiar menu that takes risks and brings the heat.

For more restaurant reviews, visit Jay’s blog at jaymagee.com.

Saucy Taco
450 State Road 13, Suite 113
Saint Johns, FL 32259
904.287.TACO for take-out
saucytaco.com (website in development)

Hours:
Sunday-Thursday 11 a.m. to 10 p.m.
Friday-Saturday 11 a.m. to midnight

Reservations: No
Credit Cards: Yes (all major)
Children’s Menu: Yes
Outdoor Seating: Yes
Catering: Yes
Bar Service: Full Bar
Price Range: Inexpensive

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